Understanding Stress:
What Can I Change & How Can I Cope?
Stress feels overwhelming when everything blends together. This worksheet will help you:
- Identify the stressor
- Break it into parts
- Sort what is changeable vs. unchangeable
- Choose the right coping strategy
Step 1: Identify the Stressor
What is causing me stress right now?
Write it in one clear sentence:
Try to focus on one stressor at a time.
Step 2: Break It Down Into Parts
Stress often feels bigger than it is because it’s vague. Break it into smaller, specific pieces.
What exactly is stressful about this?
Be specific.
Step 3: Sort It — Changeable vs. Unchangeable
Now look at each part and ask:
Is this something I can change, influence, or take action on?
Changeable Parts (Things I Can Do Something About)
Unchangeable Parts (Outside My Control)
Reminder:
We reduce stress best when we match the coping strategy to the situation.
Step 4A: If It’s Changeable → Use Problem-Solving
When something can be changed, we take action.
Use a SMART Goal
SMART =
- Specific
- Measurable
- Achievable
- Relevant
- Time-bound
My SMART Goal:
Create a Simple Action Plan
First small step:
When will I do it?
What might get in the way?
How will I handle that obstacle?
Focus on small, doable steps — not perfection.
Step 4B: If It’s Unchangeable → Use Emotion-Focused Coping
When something cannot be changed, the goal is not to fix it — it’s to regulate your emotional response.
You are caring for your nervous system.
Healthy Emotion-Focused Coping Options:
Calming the body
- Slow breathing (inhale 4, exhale 6)
- Progressive muscle relaxation
- Stretching
- Grounding (5-4-3-2-1 technique)
Processing emotions
- Journaling
- Talking to a trusted person
- Creative expression (music, art)
Resetting mentally
- Nature walk
- Listening to calming music
- Mindfulness practice
- Self-compassion statements
What coping strategy will I use?
When will I practice it?
A Helpful Reminder
- If it’s changeable → Take action.
- If it’s unchangeable → Take care of your emotional response.
- If it’s both → Do both.
You don’t have to solve everything at once.
Clarity reduces overwhelm. Small steps create momentum.